empowered

One of my unofficial goals for this new year is to start doing yoga.

Today as we were all laying on our mats at the end of class with the lights out, just breathing and trying not to think too much, this phrase cut through the clutter of my mind:

I'm stronger than my weaknesses

We all are.
I don't think I'm much of a runner when it comes to life's issues.
I tend to have the "it's like swallowing a pill" mentality to facing challenges and doing hard things; take a breath and it will be over soon.

But sometimes it's hard to turn off my brain and just let life happen.
Instead of trying to protect myself from every situation.
Because I only have so much control over what will happen.

So I think that will be my new manifesto (or one of them).
Because I have no reason to fear.
This life is beautiful; it's a gift.
And our souls are stronger than our weakest moments.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

-Ether 12: 27

image via deviantart

If I can make this night light enough to move*

Today I felt optimistic.

About life and love.

I just had this overwhelming feeling that it's all going to turn out alright.

And that it's alright even right now.

So even in the middle of this storm of stress and unchecked to do lists and half-baked efforts at greatness, this is what keeps me going:

1. Tomorrow I get to walk onto the dance floor with one of my best friends and have SO MUCH FUN.

2. I'm too young to have regrets. And too young to be completely realistic.

3. Lots and lots of compliments on this little success.

4. I might get to sleep in on Saturday morning.

5. Aced my Media Law test. Boom baby!

6. Life is unexpected. And that is frighteningly exhilarating.

7. I only have one class tomorrow.

8. I get to check another state off my list in a couple weeks. (Tennessee, here I come!)

9. Today I felt pretty. Really pretty.

I think next semester I'm going to start clearing out some of the junk in my closet, and cover my walls in sticky notes with dreams and goals and good thoughts for myself.

Something makes me think that will be awfully fulfilling.

image via weheartit, this

*Listen to this. Now.

all we can do is keep breathing*

As I took a precious moment (or 20) to blogsurf this afternoon, I read this post from Zen Habits.

I love that blog.

So much of what they say just hits home.

After reading that post, I went to this website (because it was mentioned in the post).

And now I want to buy this book.*

I love books.

I wish I spent more time with them.

{I know this is in my control, and that I just need to prioritize better, and make time to read, because I do have a whole 16 or 17 hours while I'm awake each day.}

Anyway, I feel like I've been swimming through the past month. Like I'm still barely holding on to getting things done and not falling behind.

I don't feel behind.

I'm caught up.

But I'm just barely caught up.

I'm barely getting through each day without falling asleep in all of my classes or neglecting any major responsibilities.

So really, I'm fine.

But there are so many things I want to do.

I want to read AdAge every morning.

I want to skim through the pages of the New York Times and feel like I know what's going on in the world.

I want to have the time to write blog posts that are creative and stretch my verbal capabilities, instead of to do lists and posts about not having time.**

I want to do yoga, and go running (for once in my life, I actually want to go running).

I want to eat breakfast sitting down.

I want to have time to do my hair in the morning, instead of pretending I'm enough of a granola to let it air dry and have it look fabulous every day.

I want to not fall asleep reading my scriptures every night.

I want to take advantage of all the blessings and opportunities that surround me.

The funny part is, I'm not unhappy.

I love my life.

It is so full of wonderful, exciting things.

It's just that, sometimes, it's a little too full.

So, for tonight, I'm going to tidy up my room.

Eat my dinner slowly.

And remember to breathe.

image via weheartit

*Have I already bought myself too many birthday presents? {Landon Pigg "The Boy Who Never", Food Rules, and Let the Great World Spin.}

**Ironic???

***Ingrid. Yay. Love her. Also, she's coming to Utah on October 26th. Any takers?

An Eater's Manifesto

I love Michael Pollan's thought: "Eat Food. Mostly Plants. Not Too Much."

In Defense of Food is definitely on my list of books to read in the near future.

But today I am coming up with my own manifesto.

{Sit down.

Eat slowly.

There is no need for dessert with every meal.}

Three simple rules I am trying to live by.

What is your food manifesto?

manifesto for the school year

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."

-August Wilson

There are some things I feel like I've slacked on this summer.

Not that this summer was a failure.

Not at all.

But I feel like I was just so busy and caught up in the many things I was doing (good things, mind you), that I lost a little bit of who I am.

Just a little bit.

I slacked off a little bit in some things that are important to me.

Just a little bit.

This is not me ragging on myself or moping about the past.

This is just me recommitting to a life I love.

A life that is full of passion and character and a few blue recycling bins.

A life of living the principle that less is more.

And that books and music and writing and good quality entertainment are not a waste of time.

That these books mean so much more when I'm not half-asleep.

That playing is just as important to my health as working.

And that learning is a privilege, not a burden.

So I'm going to unpack the boxes in my room, and figure out what to keep, what to get rid of and what to put away until I decide how important it is to me.

And recommit to loving the life God gave me. And remembering what is important.

image from this fabulous girl

the beautiful world

"If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life."

-Albert Camus

This day I pledge to stop taking the beauty of this life for granted.
To enjoy the hot and the cold
To ride rough tides and relax in smooth waters
To climb hills and fall into valleys
To appreciate haves and learn from the have nots

This day I pledge to fall in love every day with a new aspect of this existence
And to give thanks
Because love is only alive when it's recreated every day


This day I pledge to bask in the grace and the goodness of God
And to renew that childlike wonder
And to give love to all
Even those who don't seem to deserve it
Especially those who don't seem to deserve it

Because this life is what I make of it, so I'll make it wonderful.

image via vi.sualize.us

The massive, annual, hopeful, probably too long, list of summer goals:

Books I want to read/finish (at least a few of them this summer...):

-Finish Zorro

-Finish Deep Economy

-Michael Pollan's Food Rules

-Let the Great World Spin

-Finish the Alchemist

-Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Concerts I want to go to:

-Ryan Star...it's this Saturday, so...not likely, but it would be awesome

-Carbon Leaf..next Monday!

-Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers (in September)

-Twilight Series (concerts, not vampires)? Beirut?

Movies I want to watch:

-Karate Kid

-He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (for like the 4th time...but oh well)

-Letters to Juliet

-Adam

-The September Issue

-Coco avant Chanel

And...

-make enough money to pay tuition in the fall (car wash? bake sale? garage sale?

-continue to work in the adlab

-go to the farmers market

-eat all the bing cherries I want

-make a batch of freezer jam

-make a loaf or two of semolina bread with basil butter

-really improve my rumba, so when gold latin auditions come around...

-eat less cheese

-learn a few more phrases in French or Italian (besides "Je ne comprends pas" or "Parlo un po' d'italiano")

I'm making a goal to read something every day. The newspaper, a book, Ad Age. Anything.

And you can hold me to it. In fact, please do.

image via vi.sualize.us


"what you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you. fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

- pedro arrupe

I am what I am

I am: a dreamer a good listener a better cook than I ever thought I would be an optimist an intuitive decision-maker faithful a yellow a bit of a treehugger right brained a chronic procrastinator a giver worth it

I want to be: a good mother someone who lifts others up a strength to those around me a woman of culture a polyglot a seasoned traveler a lifelong scholar well-versed street smart always thinking and creating in love forever

photo via deviantart

New

2009 was a good year.

It was a year of trying new things.
A year of tempting fate and failure and being alright with the outcome.
It was a year of growth and getting to know myself a little bit better.
It was a year of really being myself...and loving it.

I...
-renewed my love for writing/blogging.
-trusted my intuition.
-found a major I love. (and hope will love me back.)
-made difficult decisions.
-explored the town I go to school in. and found out that it is not lame.
-made friends in my classes. really awesome friends.
-flew in the face of failure and inhibition and went after what I wanted.
-believed in myself.


A friend mentioned to my roommates and me that our apartment has a "different feel" this year. I believe it. I think we all did a lot of growing up last year. And I think it's a good thing.

image via sabino

Vectors, guides, cloning, and spreadsheets*

I'm trying to become more technologically-savvy (and less technologically-loathing).

I'm trying my hand at graphic design, and, for once, not expecting to be great at it right away.

But I'm loving it, and let me just tell you, they call it the Creative Suite for a reason.

I'm getting my fingers wet, and it's glorious.

And it's fulfilling my number 3 on this list.

image...forthcoming...once I have something to show

*this last one just refers to me figuring out how to, once again, begin keeping track of my finances.

summer update

So...remember this list?

Summer is more than halfway over....so here are the updates:
1--hmmm..not yet..
2--okay, give me credit. I've tried to job shadow a friend a couple times, but it just hasn't worked out yet. But we're still trying!
3--I've learned a little bit more. To quote my mother, I don't just need to learn how to cook, I need to "learn how to eat." Okay, I'm sort of a really picky eater. Gimme a break, I'm trying...and I got it from her! lol
4--Oh have I ever! It might be a more-than-weekly occurrence that we share a slice of cheesecake as a staff, because it was "too old" or mutilated in some way.
5--YES! I've been at least 4 times. And definitely plan on going a couple more before I leave.
6--YES! I went to many of Kevin's baseball games. I only missed a few because of work.
7--...so far, so good. I think.
8--not yet....but Kellie and I are working it out:-).
9--YES! Although this list is never "done," I have read: Speak, The Poisonwood Bible, Persepolis, some poems from The Forgiveness Parade, and I'm currently Zorro.
10--YES! I've been keeping a scripture journal pretty regularly, to write my thoughts as I'm studying. And I've been writing in my regular journal pretty often, too.
11--YES! :)

I still want to read more....and work on the first 4 goals....and enjoy summer. But I still have a little over a month :-)

{Did you hear that, college friends? I'll be back... in almost a month:) hehe}

let me be just a little bit proud

{you know what they say about life, and lemons...}

I always make lists of things I want to do/learn/accomplish. Today I am going to make a list of things I have already done. Not to be showy, but to show myself that I have done some important or interesting things in my life.

a meager list of small but significant accomplishments:

-I have been to 17 of the 50 states

-I was accepted to Brigham Young University (okay, not that hard to do, or thrilling, but still)

-I helped plan the 2009 Hunger Banquet at BYU. Which actually makes things happen.

-I worked out 4 times last week. That's kind of a big deal.

-I was a vegetarian for a year...and I learned to not detest salad.

-I make killer chicken enchiladas.

-I was determined to get the job at the restaurant I work at. And I got it. Two summers in a row.

-I recycle and do what I can to avoid unnecessary waste. I don't think that the planet is going to pot anytime soon, but I do care about the air I breathe and the ground I walk on.

-I carried four water glasses in my hands, at once. If you have ever been a server, you understand that is kind of a milestone.
-This past semester was the highest GPA I have had since high school.

-I have learned to express my feelings through words and music.

-I took Jazz 331, and worked my tail off. I have never craved criticism for improvement so much.

-I got a full-fledged A in Brent Keck's class. Boy, was I proud of that.

-I took a stupid birds class, and can now, conveniently identify a number of bird calls as well as live and used-to-be-alive specimens.

-I took a couple big leaps and wasn't afraid to fail. It's a good thing because, well, things didn't turn out the way I thought they would. Maybe that's failure. I prefer to call it: life.

{But even more than the grades, or the things I can check off my list, I learned to love. I learned to love learning and studying new things. I remembered how to love dancing, and how badly I need it in my life. I learned to love change. I learned to love people in so many different ways. I still feel very strongly that love is what life is all about.}

What else could possibly make everything else worth it?

photo via deviantart, of course

the weekend.

Saturday I spent the day with my mom.

We went to the farmers market Then we made jam. Lots of it. (find more detailed posts about those here). This is my mom's way of helping me fulfill part of #2 on this list...(aka become less domestically-challenged).

We have many more projects planned for the summer. I'm pretty stoked about it. :) Maybe I'll be a little bit closer to checking off numbers 2, 3, 4, 17, and 25.

Today was a good Sunday. Caught up with some old friends at church. Family barbeque. Cupcake decorating. Home movies.

Tomorrow will be grand. No work. Just time to play with the family :).

Happy Memorial Day!

-LC

25 before I'm 25

I saw this on Meg Fee's lovely blog and it inspired me to make a list of my own.

I've actually been working on it for a few weeks, but it took a little bit of time to compile 25 goals that were daring enough to inspire me, yet realistic enough that I could accomplish them.


25 before I turn 25:


1. Spend some time in foreign country
2. Learn to cook
3. Learn how to use graphic design programs [Photoshop, InDesign, etc....currently i use "paint" :)]
4. Read 25 new books
5. Let myself fall in love
6. Go to New York City
7. Define my political opinions a little more; be more knowledgeable (particularly for 2012)
8. Record a CD with Brittany in a recording studio
9. Learn to play guitar
10. Write an up-tempo song
11. Learn to not be afraid of driving
12. Use my writing skills for good
13. Kiss someone at midnight on New Year's Eve
14. Donate something (time/money) each year to worthy causes (excluding tithing/fast offerings)
15. Become fluent in Spanish
16. Create something I am really proud of: a song, a painting, a dance, an idea, a wedding dress
17. Learn to like vegetables
18. Start a collection of records
19. Take a cross-country road trip
20. Go to a really good concert or two
21. Get paid to use my talents (no matter how little)
22. Spend some time with my family in the Deep South
23. Share my talents. For once, really show off
24. Take full advantage of the dance opportunities available to me
25. Read each of these at least once, all the way through

This Summer

I make lists all the time. I guess it's my way of trying to put down on paper what I want to accomplish, in hopes that if I write it down, it will actually come true.

A mini-list to begin:
1. Brittany and I make summer workout plans. Every. Single. Summer.
2. I have about a billion of these "things I want to accomplish" lists
3. To be frank, I will be lucky if I get half the things on this list done. But that's better than nothing, right?


Here goes.

Things I want to learn to do/accomplish/get done during Summer 2009:

1. Improve my sewing skills (I actually don't really have sewing "skills" to begin with, but I have to start somewhere)
2. Learn more about graphic design programs
3. Learn to cook more than just chicken enchiladas, vanilla crepes and hot cocoa.
4. Savor the taste of MAma CarOle's Traditional Cheesecake
5. Go to the Farmers Market with Mom
6. Go to Kevin's Baseball games.
7. DON'T get fat on soda pop and ice cream
8. Go to Salem and see more than just the capital building
9. READ for fun! (that is a WHOLE other list to be made: Books I want to read this summer)
10. Grow spiritually. Go back to school stronger in my faith. (This is another one that could turn into a whole post, but I really want to make meaningful scripture study and prayer a part of every day)
11. Floss! (this is always on my lists, but I've never been very consistent with it. Oh well.)


Hopefully:-). So far I have: been to the farmer's market, a baseball game, eaten cheesecake, read one book, flossed twice, and studied my scriptures with Preach My Gospel once. *little pat on the back*