xo

Sometimes I honestly believe all I need in life is an endless supply of good hugs and forehead kisses.

this lovely image via vi.sualize.us

"i have measured out my life with coffee* spoons"

For my creative writing class, we are asked to keep a journal and read two poems a day.
I came across the poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot and loved it.

"There will be time, there will be time

To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;

There will be time to murder and create,

And time for all the works and days of hands

That lift and drop a question on your plate;

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

And for a hundred visions and revisions,

Before the taking of a toast and tea."

It so perfectly describes the stresses of life, while assuring the reader that, "there will be time."

*though I don't drink coffee myself, i love coffee shops, really good hot cocoa, and this line of the poem.

image via deviantart

Open for Discussion

I've been thinking lately about natural dispositions.

How the mood people generally wake up in is different for everyone.

Curious, pensive, optimistic, ANNOYED, content.

And how sometimes a person's natural disposition colors the way they look to you. The way you think about them. How much you enjoy spending time with them, or what sorts of things you enjoy doing with them.

Because I think people are usually more beautiful when they are happy.

And I'm curious what others' thoughts are about this subject.

I'm curious what my natural disposition is, what other people see it as, and what I think it is.

And if the two differ.

So tell me your thoughts.

About yourself.

About me.

About your friends.

About the subject in general.

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."

Martha Washington

I am what I am

I am: a dreamer a good listener a better cook than I ever thought I would be an optimist an intuitive decision-maker faithful a yellow a bit of a treehugger right brained a chronic procrastinator a giver worth it

I want to be: a good mother someone who lifts others up a strength to those around me a woman of culture a polyglot a seasoned traveler a lifelong scholar well-versed street smart always thinking and creating in love forever

photo via deviantart

Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 in 1952.

{I found this picture on Sabino. And I liked it. A lot.}

we can blame the media.
we can blame McDonalds.
we can blame technology and Photoshop and plastic surgery.

or we can find that inner love for ourselves.
and accept that beauty has no dictionary definition.
it is an open-ended question.
and we answer it by loving ourselves every day.

we can feed our souls when we feed our beautiful bodies three times a day.
we can say thanks for this amazing gift we've been given by treating it well:
moving it around, filling it with delicious food, getting some shut-eye at night.

because it really isn't about the numbers: 10, 35-29-40, 145....
it's about loving the body God gave you. and doing what you can so you can move it around, enjoy that delicious food, and get some shut-eye for 80, 90, maybe even 100 years.

image via google

I fight hard and forgive easily

And that's just the way I am.
My method of dealing with issues most of the time, is to not deal with it at all. Ignore it long enough, pretend it didn't happen, and it will go away.

Or at least hide itself for a while.

I have to remember that not everyone is like me.
And that doesn't always make one of us right and the other wrong. It just makes us different.

It's hard when you are trying to do "the right thing," but it ends up hurting people anyway.

Tonight I acted selfish and stubborn.
And I thought I was justified.

Then I got a little taste of humility. And it was good for me. I needed that.

So thanks.

image via deviantart

ten honest things

My dear friend Micaela tagged me to do this. Micaela is one of the most honest, genuine bloggers I've had the pleasure of getting to know. If you haven't stopped by her corner of the web, you're missing out!

ten honest things about me:

1. Sometimes I get scared easily--life, love, loneliness...most of all, I think I'm scared of losing my way and forgetting who I am. But every day I feel a little more confident in who I am and how I love this life I've been given.

2. I think with my heart. I make decisions based on how I feel about the situation. It's not always logical and often unexplainable. But I trust my heart and that gives me peace.

3. I compare myself to others and care what other people think way too much. I don't like admitting this because it makes me feel vulnerable, but it's true. It's not that I have low self-esteem, because I'm actually pretty happy with who I am. But sometimes I get caught up in wanting to be exciting and fun and attractive and unique, when really I just need to be me. Because that is enough.

4. I'm really bad with goodbyes. I tend to just avoid them. Just leaving without a word is easier for me than reminding myself of what I'm leaving behind.

5. Sometimes I worry that showing too much of the real me is a turn-off to any potential love-to-be. At least, showing too much, too soon. Being that open is liberating but terribly frightening at the same time because it gives someone else the ability to make judgments about my heart.

6. I love sad movies. And I love a good cry. It is such a natural release. "The Way We Were" is one of my all-time favorites.

7. I love my brown eyes. I used to not like them at all, and was envious of girls with beautiful blue or green eyes. I even considered buying colored contacts. But I realized that they are the same as my mom's eyes, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

8. These things make me feel loved: heartfelt hugs, sincere smiles, and the overall ease of being with people who know you well.

9. I have come to realize that sometimes I am braver than I give myself credit. I'm willing to do scary things, even if I'm terrified. These experiences have taught me not only that I can handle whatever the scary thing was, but also that I can take a chance.

10. Music will always be my first love. Oh, I will love someone more than music, that is certain; but I doubt I will ever find something I love so well.

I tag...whoever wants to do this! (Jayne, Pepper, and Niki, I know you love these things, and I'd love to hear your 10 honest things!)

image via weheartit

{Love-to-be, if you happen to be reading this: This might scare you; this much of me, all at once. It's a good chunk of my heart. But be gentle with it, and understand that I'm a work in progress. Honestly, aren't we all?}