I've started so many posts in the last week. Finished a few. Saved others half-finished.

But none were ready to post. Some may be too personal. Some may take knowing me for years to really understand. Maybe I'll post those another day.
But for now, I think a simple list will suffice.

Because, after all, it's sunny outside. So why not make one of those random, out-of-order, I-love-life kind of lists?

I love...
-barefeet on hardwood floors
-new clothes
-letting my hair air dry
-hearing how happy my sister sounds
-feeling missed and needed
-when people tell me that I look like my mom
-greek food, especially when I get to enjoy it with my dad.
-phone calls, just to chat
-nutella
-waking up and feeling rested
-having a wee bit more time, now that I'm not in classes
-just feeling genuinely happy and content with life.

image via deviantart

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much

I've always loved coffee shops.

Not for the coffee, because I don't drink coffee. (though they generally have killer hot cocoa)

But because of the atmosphere and the energy.

They just seem like creative spaces.

And I love that.

There's something really endearing about the boy in this video. Maybe it's that he seems like more of a boy getting into mischief than a man looking for his soulmate.

Maybe he's both.

Either way, I'm digging the video.

ps: I just checked out a couple of his other songs, and love love love this one.

cannonball into the water

My natural reaction, when it comes to with those things called men, is to let the other girl win, (assuming there is another girl).

I don't like head-to-head competition. Maybe it's that I'm scared to lose. Or maybe it's that I think it's petty and pointless.

Either way, I tend to take the route of becoming really good friends with that guy, figuring that he'll only ever see me as that, but hoping that someday, when the other girl breaks his heart, he'll realize that I'm better for him than she ever was.

Because I was there.

Because I knew him better.

Because I never took him for granted.

And maybe he'll start to see me as the kind of friend that lasts forever.

{ Now, I could end this post right now. But you would all think that I haven't learned anything from this way of thinking, or from the past few almost loves I've had. }

But that way of thinking is a dream.

It's the exception, not the rule (to quote "He's Just Not That Into You.")

It's selling myself short because I'm too scared of what might not be.

I think I've been too passive, in an attempt to not be overbearing, when it comes to those things called men. I see girls that are like that, and wonder why they just don't get that the guy they want is, well, just not that into them.

I never thought that maybe they look at me and wonder why I never go after what I want.

I have to remind myself that I don't just deserve to be fought for, but that I owe it to myself to fight at least a little bit for who I want.

Because he's worth fighting for, or even fighting over.

And how is anyone supposed to know who I am or what I have to offer, if I never show them or tell them or give them a little bit of myself?

I'm really good at being "the friend." I know that.

But it's comfortable. Maybe too comfortable.

Maybe it's time to start giving myself credit.

It's a little exercise in confidence.

It's a little exercise in trusting my heart.

It's a little exercise in hoping for the best.

Throwing away the safety net.

Forgetting about Plan B.

And leaping into the unknown,

heart pounding,

fingers shaking,

but with gusto and faith.

image via sabino

{Thoughts? I'm interested to see what people think about this whole "fighting for what you want" thing. So comment. Because who doesn't love comments?)

Much Ado

I found out from one of my favorite New Yorkers, Miss Meg Fee, that Provo is doing Much Ado About Nothing.

June 11th and 12th.

Outside.

FREE.

My favorite kind of theatre.

Who'll go with me?