we won't be leaving by the same road that we came by*

{I found this in my "Drafts" folder today, and I can't quite remember what prompted me to write it, which must mean it's safe now to post, right?}

And we won't be the same people when we leave either.
Because the rocks and the ridges in the road shape the pattern of our footprints.

And because we grow up, and we grow together, and we grow wiser.

So that we realize there are things about the person we used to be that we'd prefer to leave in the past.

We leave those pieces of us for the journal entries and the photo albums, tucked away to remember, but also to forget.

Like a mental list of who not to be.

It's good to remember, because it allows us to see how far we've come.

But it's better to forget, because then we can finally be free.

*Keane, you have been my muse for the past two and a half weeks. So thanks for that.

and she's back

She took some time and took off for a new life and when she returned after a month and a half, it was almost like it hadn't happened.

Except that it did.

And she couldn't (wouldn't) deny that because she was different.

The conversations, the culture and the people she met were unforgettable. The experience was like a giant growth spurt and like any growing pains, it hurt to leave.

She didn't feel quite ready to give it up.

She knew the home she was coming back to would be pretty much the same, but she would never be the same girl as before she left.

And because she was different, everything would change.

a story from the past--part two

(a continuation of this story)

The change was so gradual, but the recognition of that change was surprisingly sudden.

It took a few backward glances at what was, compared to what is.

To see the distance between the two.

It took being a stranger to her past self to see that she was not that person anymore.

She didn't realize it until later.

Much later.

But a bit of confidence and a little faith can go a long way.

And life is so much better when you live it on purpose.

Instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

And there are still days when she wears sweat pants and no makeup and listens to sad songs just for the sake of listening to sad songs.

But on those days when she just wants to feel sad because she isn't feeling anything else, the rut isn't deep enough to take eight months to climb out of.

It's the kind of rut that is just part of life.

The kind that reminds her what happiness isn't.

So that she can remember what it is.

And that's okay.

Because that's just life.

image via vi.sualize.us

xo

Sometimes I honestly believe all I need in life is an endless supply of good hugs and forehead kisses.

this lovely image via vi.sualize.us

manifesto for the school year

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."

-August Wilson

There are some things I feel like I've slacked on this summer.

Not that this summer was a failure.

Not at all.

But I feel like I was just so busy and caught up in the many things I was doing (good things, mind you), that I lost a little bit of who I am.

Just a little bit.

I slacked off a little bit in some things that are important to me.

Just a little bit.

This is not me ragging on myself or moping about the past.

This is just me recommitting to a life I love.

A life that is full of passion and character and a few blue recycling bins.

A life of living the principle that less is more.

And that books and music and writing and good quality entertainment are not a waste of time.

That these books mean so much more when I'm not half-asleep.

That playing is just as important to my health as working.

And that learning is a privilege, not a burden.

So I'm going to unpack the boxes in my room, and figure out what to keep, what to get rid of and what to put away until I decide how important it is to me.

And recommit to loving the life God gave me. And remembering what is important.

image from this fabulous girl

People.

Loving this post.

(by the way, she's a gifted photographer. and person. and my roommate.)

I'm surrounded by some incredible people.

Thanks to you all.

Life would stink without you.

image via sabino

"te amo con toda mi fe sin medidas"*

Life/Love can be tricky. Two choices are presented. To ease into something that is good and comfortable and easy, or to venture into the something foreign and scary and unsure.

Sometimes you have to choose between something great and something that might be even better. Or it could also be disastrous. That 's the risk.

The logical mind thinks: What's the point in letting yourself become attached to someone who may or may not be at all attached to you. Or at least not in the same way. You are such good friends, why risk losing that?

But the hopelessly romantic heart says: You will never know for sure. What is life if you don't let yourself feel with your whole heart. And too late, the damage is already done. Bring it on. All of it.

The catch is that the decision is not whether or not to let go of something bad for something good, but to let go of something lukewarm and stagnant for something that puts your heart in motion and lets it do what it does best: love.

It makes sense to me that, a lot of times, you have to fight to enjoy the best in life. By fighting, you are acknowledging that whatever or whoever is worth it. By taking that risk, you realize that whatever the outcome may be, however much it might kill you in the end, you'll take it because the chance of being with that person is worth it. And because of the undying hope we all have somewhere in our hearts (buried as it may be) that things will work out, someday.


*so I'm on a maná kick...love them.

image via deviantart

shake our apathy

"you hold your head like you don't know about, a thousand kids with all their clothes worn out, and you hide behind, this naive mind."

-"Shake Our Apathy", Foiled

This is such a good song. The boys of Foiled are genius. It's more than just a good song with a catchy beat; it's important. The one who wrote this song is my friend's brother, I got their CD from her last year. Just pulled it out today and am so glad I did. Check this out. {note: that was not a question, but a command :)}

another line from the song:

"it's telling you that it all will change, how is that if we all stay the same, and our eyes stay dry, no tears we cry?"