leaving

When I graduated from high school, I was a little sad, but mostly just excited to experience the adventure of college life. Moving away from home, meeting so many new people with whom I have so much in common, no curfew, living by my own rules.

And it has been a wonderful five years. It's still a little weird for me to think of how much this town has become home to me, but it really has. I've made so many memories in this place and have been surrounded by some of the greatest people in the world.

{To all of you who been there for me in any and every way during the past five years, I couldn't have done it without you. I love you all so much.}

It's finally sinking in that I'm really leaving. But this time the adventure ahead of me is significantly more unsure. After my internship finishes and my housing contract ends in New York, I have no idea where I'll be. And while that is really exciting, it's also a little scary.

I worry that my friends and I won't stay in touch. I worry that in August I still won't know what my next move should be. Or that I'll get caught up in the industry and forget what I really want out of life and how I want to get there. I wonder about missed opportunities and all of the people I'm leaving behind.

But regardless of my fears, I do feel oddly calm (for the most part) about packing my life into a couple of suitcases, hopping on a plane across the country, and moving into a new apartment with some wonderful girls.

So here's to this next phase of life. I think it's gonna be pretty great.

The Almosts

She pulled out her glasses, took a good long look in the soul looking back at her in the mirror and wondered what she was doing wrong.

After all, she was the common denominator.

Three times she'd found a guy to dream about and dream with, and three times, he had almost wanted to dream with her, too.

She'd tried to be patient and understanding and flexible. She'd learned to hope and to have faith and to trust. And though she was better for every heartache and had kept her chin up and put on a good face, still, the human in her couldn't help but take at least part of the blame.

Those nagging questions of what more she might have done, what she could have done differently, still swimming laps in her mind.

She was almost enough to get him over his fear, his past relationship, his apathy.


But, for what it's worth, these almosts have meant more than the past five years' of flirting and first dates.

Coast to Coast

It's becoming increasingly apparent to me how much of a west coaster I really am. Just the other day I had the following conversation with my mother, with zero exaggeration.

Me: So I was thinking about the kinds of clothes I want to buy/bring with me for my internship this summer. And it hit me that...I can't wear shorts to work. 


Mom: Yeah, probably not.


Me: But it's summer...that's what you wear in the summer. (Granted, advertising is a pretty laid back industry, but probably not that laid back.) 


Mom: Well you'll just have to get some skirts.


Me: Yeah, it literally just hit me that there are professional businessmen and women who wear full black suits with jackets every day, even in the summer...


Mom: (laughs) Yeah, you definitely have the west coast casual vibe.

This is not to say that my mother didn't set a fabulous example of how to dress, that I didn't watch my father go to work every day in a tie, or that I didn't grow up attending church every week in my Sunday best, but let's just say that I'll be bringing my one pair of beige slacks, some summery skirts and a determination to scour the city for some thrifted "advertising cool" attire.

In other news, I'm really hoping to join a CSA for the summer and fill my little apartment in the city with fresh produce every week, and to indulge my way through each and every paycheck.