7.28.2010

I sing the songs of the glory of you



{I am always a little awestruck at beautiful pictures of "old love." love that has never let the butterflies die. love that has tired hands and feet, no longer tired from the searching, but from continuously walking and reaching toward that same love they spent so long searching for. from carrying a load that was too much for one pair of hands. from working together to cultivate that kind of love. the kind that lasts forever.}

..........................................................
"Whoever you are, I fear you are walking the walks of
dreams,

I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your
feet and hands, Even now your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners,
troubles, follies, costume, crimes, dissipate away from you,

Your true soul and body appear before me,
They stand forth out of affairs, out of commerce, shops,
work, farms, clothes, the house, buying, selling, eating,
drinking, suffering, dying.

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you
be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear,
I have loved many women and men, but I love none better
than you.

O I have been dilatory and dumb, I should have made my way straight to you long ago,
I should have blabb'd nothing but you, I should have chanted
nothing but you.

I will leave all and come and make the hymns of you,
None has understood you, but I understand you,
None has done justice to you, you have not done justice to
yourself

...
O I could sing such grandeurs and glories about you!
You have not known what you are, you have slumber'd upon
yourself all your life
, Your eyelids have been the same as closed most of the time,

What you have done returns already in mockeries, (Your thrift, knowledge, prayers,
if they do not return in
mockeries, what is their return?)
...
There is no virtue, no beauty in man or woman, but as good
is in you, No pluck, no endurance in others, but as good is in you,
No pleasure waiting for others, but an equal pleasure waits
for you.
...
I sing the songs of the glory of you.

Through angers, losses, ambition, ignorance, ennui, what
you are picks its way."

-Walt Whitman, To You

(full version here)
image via vi.sualize.us

7.25.2010

the beautiful world


"If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life."
-Albert Camus
This day I pledge to stop taking the beauty of this life for granted.
To enjoy the hot and the cold
To ride rough tides and relax in smooth waters
To climb hills and fall into valleys
To appreciate haves and learn from the have nots

This day I pledge to fall in love every day with a new aspect of this existence
And to give thanks
Because love is only alive when it's recreated every day


This day I pledge to bask in the grace and the goodness of God
And to renew that childlike wonder
And to give love to all
Even those who don't seem to deserve it
Especially those who don't seem to deserve it

Because this life is what I make of it, so I'll make it wonderful.


image via vi.sualize.us

7.20.2010

pitter pat



{Colby posted this image on
Pray Hard. Live Easy today. She always has the most perfect quotes and such beautiful pictures.}

All I have to say is, frankly, I don't mind being barefoot in the kitchen.



image seen at prayhard.liveeasy

7.19.2010


He was never one to sit and watch television.
He would sit cross-legged on top of the tube, look out the window and watch the world outside.

He saw people mulling around, in their various costumes, walking to work, to play, to eat.

Dressed to impress, dressed for success, dressed with distress.

He would imagine their lives and write their stories on the invisible pages of the future. Not the story that everyone knew; the obvious, surface-level travelogue of day-to-day happenings.

But the story that was waiting, wanting to be told. The story they wanted desperately to tell, but did not know where to begin.

Or who would listen.

Because maybe the story didn't have a happy ending.

Or maybe it didn't have an ending at all...


image via deviantart

7.14.2010

The massive, annual, hopeful, probably too long, list of summer goals:


Books I want to read/finish (at least a few of them this summer...):
-Finish Zorro
-Finish Deep Economy
-Michael Pollan's Food Rules
-Let the Great World Spin
-Finish the Alchemist
-Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Concerts I want to go to:
-Ryan Star...it's this Saturday, so...not likely, but it would be awesome
-Carbon Leaf..next Monday!
-Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers (in September)
-Twilight Series (concerts, not vampires)? Beirut?

Movies I want to watch:
-Karate Kid
-He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (for like the 4th time...but oh well)
-Letters to Juliet
-Adam
-The September Issue
-Coco avant Chanel

And...
-make enough money to pay tuition in the fall (car wash? bake sale? garage sale?
-continue to work in the adlab
-go to the farmers market
-eat all the bing cherries I want
-make a batch of freezer jam
-make a loaf or two of semolina bread with basil butter
-really improve my rumba, so when gold latin auditions come around...
-eat less cheese
-learn a few more phrases in French or Italian (besides "Je ne comprends pas" or "Parlo un po' d'italiano")

I'm making a goal to read something every day. The newspaper, a book, Ad Age. Anything.

And you can hold me to it. In fact, please do.

image via vi.sualize.us


"what you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you. fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

- pedro arrupe


7.12.2010

Born in the 80s

So what if I'm too young to really remember this song?

But I'm loving it.
Not sure why.

And maybe I wouldn't have followed John Waite's tour bus all over the country.
Or had posters of him all over my walls.
Or listened to his music nonstop on my walkman.

But I do like this song.
And the oh-so-80s sense of the music video.




7.10.2010

Some Kind of Story, Part Three

And though playing it safe was comfortable.
And easy.
Most of the time,

She still craved that sense of recklessness.
The unexpected, the spontaneous.
The untested waters.

And though new things made her a bit uneasy,
the uneasiness was not always a bad thing.

7.08.2010

Some Kind of Story, Part Two

She'd always played it pretty safe.
She could be spontaneous about the little things.
The midnight food runs, the impulse buys, the making of friends and the trusting of those friends.

But love?

Love was not something she ever did without thinking.
In fact, she thought about it a lot.
And she wondered if maybe she did a little too much wondering and dreaming and writing.

And not enough leaping.

Some Kind of Story, Part One

She was never one to go for the lead singer.

She liked drummers.
Almost hidden behind shaggy hair and a stack of hi-hats.
Keeping the beat.

They seemed steady, but reckless at the same time.
And always so much about the music.
And not so much the spotlight.

No band is complete without one.
And neither was she.

6.24.2010


I've started so many posts in the last week. Finished a few. Saved others half-finished.

But none were ready to post. Some may be too personal. Some may take knowing me for years to really understand. Maybe I'll post those another day.
But for now, I think a simple list will suffice.

Because, after all, it's sunny outside. So why not make one of those random, out-of-order, I-love-life kind of lists?

I love...
-barefeet on hardwood floors
-new clothes
-letting my hair air dry
-hearing how happy my sister sounds
-feeling missed and needed
-when people tell me that I look like my mom
-greek food, especially when I get to enjoy it with my dad.
-phone calls, just to chat
-nutella
-waking up and feeling rested
-having a wee bit more time, now that I'm not in classes
-just feeling genuinely happy and content with life.

image via deviantart

6.09.2010

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much





I've always loved coffee shops.
Not for the coffee, because I don't drink coffee. (though they generally have killer hot cocoa)
But because of the atmosphere and the energy.

They just seem like creative spaces.
And I love that.

There's something really endearing about the boy in this video. Maybe it's that he seems like more of a boy getting into mischief than a man looking for his soulmate.
Maybe he's both.

Either way, I'm digging the video.

ps: I just checked out a couple of his other songs, and love love love this one.


6.07.2010

cannonball into the water


My natural reaction, when it comes to with those things called men, is to let the other girl win, (assuming there is another girl).

I don't like head-to-head competition. Maybe it's that I'm scared to lose. Or maybe it's that I think it's petty and pointless.

Either way, I tend to take the route of becoming really good friends with that guy, figuring that he'll only ever see me as that, but hoping that someday, when the other girl breaks his heart, he'll realize that I'm better for him than she ever was.
Because I was there.
Because I knew him better.
Because I never took him for granted.

And maybe he'll start to see me as the kind of friend that lasts forever.

{ Now, I could end this post right now. But you would all think that I haven't learned anything from this way of thinking, or from the past few almost loves I've had. }

But that way of thinking is a dream.
It's the exception, not the rule (to quote "He's Just Not That Into You.")
It's selling myself short because I'm too scared of what might not be.

I think I've been too passive, in an attempt to not be overbearing, when it comes to those things called men. I see girls that are like that, and wonder why they just don't get that the guy they want is, well, just not that into them.

I never thought that maybe they look at me and wonder why I never go after what I want.

I have to remind myself that I don't just deserve to be fought for, but that I owe it to myself to fight at least a little bit for who I want.

Because he's worth fighting for, or even fighting over.

And how is anyone supposed to know who I am or what I have to offer, if I never show them or tell them or give them a little bit of myself?

I'm really good at being "the friend." I know that.
But it's comfortable. Maybe too comfortable.

Maybe it's time to start giving myself credit.
It's a little exercise in confidence.
It's a little exercise in trusting my heart.
It's a little exercise in hoping for the best.
Throwing away the safety net.
Forgetting about Plan B.

And leaping into the unknown,

heart pounding,

fingers shaking,

but with gusto and faith.

image via sabino

{Thoughts? I'm interested to see what people think about this whole "fighting for what you want" thing. So comment. Because who doesn't love comments?)

6.01.2010

Much Ado

I found out from one of my favorite New Yorkers, Miss Meg Fee, that Provo is doing Much Ado About Nothing.

June 11th and 12th.
Outside.
FREE.

My favorite kind of theatre.

Who'll go with me?

5.31.2010

Roots


Is it possible to fall in love with someone's family, before you fall in love with them?

To want to be swallowed up in the chaos of a life you didn't grow up with.
To understand the inside jokes and references to family stories.
To share a last name, but not a bloodline.
And to be trusted enough to live up to that name. To know what it's like to be a "______."

I feel like I know just a bit how Lucy feels in "While You Were Sleeping," when she says "I fell in love with all of you," talking about the whole family.

It's not that I'm planning on changing my last name anytime soon.

But when I do, I want to love his family almost as much as I will love him.

And I hope that they feel the same way about me.

image via this

5.29.2010

footsteps


I dream of living in a place where all I need is within walking distance.
I love getting to know a city on foot.
It's not the same story when you drive everywhere.
Today I walked down to 5th and Center, where the lovely Provo Farmers Market makes its home every Saturday.

I walked around the whole market and smelled the tamale and empanada booths, bought a loaf of Asiago Cheese Bread (and pulled off a hunk to eat, so delicious), got some raspberry lemonade and sat on the grass to enjoy the first day it really felt like summer.

It was so therapeutic. There is just something about a bunch of creative, hard-working people from your community, coming together to share what they love with you.

Everything taste sweeter when you know the hand that made it.

So I challenge you to walk a few steps further, take a left turn where you usually go right, and really see the world from a human's-eye-view.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -Lao Tzu

image via deviantart

5.27.2010

new

I have a secret.

I don't mean to tease.
But rather, to celebrate.

To celebrate the absolute and complete freedom that comes from that little button under "settings" that says "private."

There is something therapeutic and so freeing in publishing my thoughts, with the knowledge that no one else is going to read it.

It began yesterday, with the passing thought that drafts are usually intended to be published. And I have quite a few that were never intended to be seen by anyone but me.

I had this idea of trying to write every day.
Something, anything every single day.

It's an exercise in strengthening my creative muscles.
but also.
an experiment in being real. and honest. and true to my heart.

and I think this is the "realest" I've ever been.

Hopefully, great things will come from this goal.
And I will be sure to transfer any "great things" over to this, the public side of my soul.

So stick around, because I'm not going away.

I'm just...taking a breath, and spreading my fingers a bit.

5.20.2010

I am what I am


I am: a dreamer a good listener a better cook than I ever thought I would be an optimist an intuitive decision-maker faithful a yellow a bit of a treehugger right brained a chronic procrastinator a giver worth it

I want to be: a good mother someone who lifts others up a strength to those around me a woman of culture a polyglot a seasoned traveler a lifelong scholar well-versed street smart always thinking and creating in love forever


photo via deviantart

5.13.2010

fresh


summer is about discovery.
and swimsuits and sunscreen.
and late night conversations.
and baseball games and ice cream cones.

and butterflies.
and trying new things.

like letting my heart do the thinking.
and opening up the windows and letting some new light* in.

oh yes. summer is about butterflies.

image via vi.sualize.us

*or love..?

5.08.2010

maybe when things turn green again, it will be good to say you know me.*

a few things that have put a smile on my face as of late:
solid, low-drama friends
meeting new people
visitors
the crazy, sporadic, unexpected, beautiful world of advertising and the BYU adlab
pomegranate, acai, and blueberry sorbet
chili burritos and "bang!" at La Casa...yum yum fun


...and the glorious fact that it's finally warm enough to let my hair air dry.


*Oh, Mr. Mayer, how do you spell it out so well?

5.03.2010

Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger!



I love Butterfingers.
You might love Butterfingers.
And, of course, Bart Simpson and Seth Green love Butterfingers.

This might happen if someone took your crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery treat.

Tell your friends.
Tell your roommates.
Tell everyone you know.

Because it might not be the League that Butterfinger wants right now, but it's the one they need.