Sometimes the best things in life...

...come at the most inopportune time.

I have this issue with timing. I fight it. And I struggle to accept it.

Good things tend to come into my life right before big changes; usually those changes involve a change of location.

Maybe I'm a procrastinator when it comes to love.

I wait until the last minute to open up, care, or really look at what's in front of me.
Until it's too late.

Sometimes I think the last-minute romantic fling is the way to go. No time to get bored or lose interest or let my fickle heart play tricks on an unexpecting male. No time to get scared off or overanalyze. No time to get too attached or really fall too deep, because the end so closely follows the beginning.

Love comes to me in glimpses, in moments. Not in some lengthy affair consuming my life for months or years at a time. A moonlit kiss, a few words, a certain scent. I have not learned what little I know about love from one definite experience, but from fractions of days and weeks of almost loves. I have not learned about heartache from a single heartbreaking day, but from a variety of cracks and chips to my heart, wrinkles and wrongdoings that bruise my soul, spread out over months and years.

Maybe that's better. Because I've been able to deal with each, piece by piece, and move on. Because I've never had my world end with a single goodbye. Maybe it's preparing me for that heartbreaking day.

Or maybe not. Maybe it's training for the day when the timing will catch up with my mental clock. When someday the chips will fit together and it will feel permanent, and, most of all, I will feel at peace with that.

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

-Ida Scott Taylor

image via deviantart